I am still inside water at least metaphorically speaking.
Whatever I have been holding has been released under the swift currents of the water. It is one of those places where there astounding stillness to be found. Where the questions that one usually asks oneself are forgotten to witness only the present. Could it be that the pride and ascent are left atop the surface of the water and what goes beneath is only the body? Could it be that there are multiple dimensions, each dimension opening itself to human forms, some grander, some lesser? And, water, the pool resembling embryonic stability and comfort, that accepts us as we are – just as the earth and the air does. How does it feel to be part of these three dimensions, one ending into the other and beginning into the next?
So as one steps their first foot into the pool, they are taken along into the vastness of the depth beneath them. Partly you are not aware of what transcends in that moment because you stop thinking, analysing. You are only feeling the depth with your feet. You know the next step will again land you to a flat surface and in that awareness, you move forward – even as a knight does, without the fear of the impending. As the waves of the water rush against your body, you know you are solid, a form, just like another rock or stone that stands in the path of water. A glance to your side, you see the water moving around your body, arches formed against your arms and elbow.
And, then you dive. You hold your breath, strictly in a manner of wanting to experience the underneath. You hold your breath and let go. There you enter the calming stillness, the world under, where the noises are absorbed to release silence. When you open your eyes, you see the shimmering blue of the tiles that are carefully placed to highlight the depths and lengths. A grey mass floats just near your eye level.
Then the first bubble. Air preserved carefully until now in the lungs is being released. And, yet you know, there is still your ability to release more air and stay beneath the water. Mesmerised against the profundity of this moment – you, poor creature – which did not learn to breathe easily on earth, does so inside the water. Now, the flurry of bubbles releases themselves and at last, you ask the water to expel you, to liberate you into the other dimension. Your arms seek in reverence, gathering the flowing ether, and one thrust and you take yourself to the surface. Only an illusion for you did not do a thing. Everything you did was natural – the way it is.
You stand to your height and you see what has happened. You have held your breath and were consumed – back to the warmth of the home where you came from, the place where no memory holds, no thought remains, where there is light and yet there is darkness. This is perhaps the closest one could experience the womb again. And, once you are out of that womb, you yearn to go back again into – the place where the light and darkness become one, where noise and stillness become one.
And, then, the split that you have been cursed with, ceases and becomes one.